


To love what is dead.

by house0fstark (hellodestroya)



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Gen, Mentions of Cersei, Spoilers through the first season
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-30
Updated: 2012-04-30
Packaged: 2017-11-04 14:58:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/395128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hellodestroya/pseuds/house0fstark
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Robert Baratheon has time to think back on what could of been but never was and what it meant.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To love what is dead.

The problem with loving a dead woman was that near the end, Robert couldn’t even be sure what her laugh sounded like. What color she looked best in. He couldn’t remember her favorite fruit, the song she used to sing. Worst of all, he couldn’t remember if she had ever loved him. He thought she had, in the brief time they had together. That the smile she gave him was only for him, theirs. She had loved him, hadn’t she? He had been brave then, lean and strong and brave. Her voice had been the only music he ever wanted to hear. It had been a long time, though. 

He was dying, and his thoughts were not for Cersei or his children. They were for Lyanna and yet for the life of him, he could not recall her face. Parts of it. The color of her hair. Maybe her eyes. But the rest of her had faded with time until all he had left was the memory of he felt. How she made him feel. He would have been a good husband. Eddard Stark would of been the brother he should of had. He tries to remember if she was witty, or cautious. If there was fire in her eyes, or gentleness. The problem with loving a dead girl was simple. After a time, you didn’t even remember who they were anymore.

You just remember what they had been, what they should of been, and your mind did the rest. It filled in the blanks, showing you things that never were - dark haired Baratheon children, with Stark eyes, running underfoot. A family, with a faceless wife and mother. A queen whose image his memory could not conjure. It could not bring back the dead. They remained cold and gone until all that was left was the idea of them. 

Tears burned his eyes and he would of roared with the rage of a bellowing stag had his body the strength. Why couldn’t he remember?! He had loved her, and she him! She laughed at his jokes and made him laugh in turn. She had loved him, the Others take whomever would say otherwise! He coughed, and forced himself quiet. It was not often he was left alone, and he didn’t want anyone with him. Not this moment, not even Ned. But if she had loved him, why hadn’t she come home? He had listened to Ned, and she was not found bound and defiled. She had died so far away that it seemed across the world to him, and the only thing she left him was her memory. 

He wished now that he had seen her die. Perhaps then his heart would not belong to a ghost so long after it all ended. Perhaps his mind could remember her, and let her rest. She had to have loved him. She had to have, or nothing meant anything. She needed saving and he made sure it happened. Because she had loved him. Lyanna. His pretty Lyanna, nothing more than an idea to him now an yet she brought him to tears.


End file.
